Sunday, 18 March 2012

The start of my PhD

It is indeed my fifth month doing a PhD. I have always wanted to write about my reflection over these five months. This blog post has been saved as a draft for a couple of weeks. I am very glad that I finally have the chance to complete it.

Doing a PhD is totally a different paradigm compare with my working life in the past. The thing with doing a PhD is that it is not a nine to five matters (Liu, 2012). It is a continuous thinking process. In order to complete in three years in a full time basis, I know that I have to give more. I used to have two days for my weekend when I was at work, now, am still trying to take two days off, however, most of the time, ill start doing my prep work on Sunday. In addition, working from 9 – 8 is no longer unusual as I need more time to clear the academic and business as usual (BAU) work. The BAUs include the student Rep responsibilities (i.e. organising social activities, workshops, etc), teaching assistant (slides prep, teaching, marking essays etc), co supervising MSc students, meetings with other PhD for the collaborative academic work etc. I know life has changed. But it is a good change. Nothing comes easy, I always tell myself that if I can survive in these three years, I will be able to achieve more in future.

My desk for the next three years

After five months going through the literature, I realised that actually I really like reading / knowing things that related to philosophy, mathematics and logic. I believe that all inventions in the world have the philosophical thinking / theoretical background behind. And in order to develop it into something that people can use (practical), here comes science to play the role. Something will not be called as science if there is no mathematics foundation.

I especially like the Syllogism from Aristotle, the great ancient Greek philosopher. I think it is one of the best ways in developing a hypothesis. For example:
All mortals die
Some men are mortals
Some men die
In fact, we are making hypothesis by applying syllogism in our daily life whenever we are trying to make judgement or decisions :)

Doing a PhD is giving me a chance to think or research things that I really like to do. I wouldn’t want to be a great philosopher or mathematician or a logician, but I do hope to use my practical / tacit knowledge, incorporate with those great philosophical, mathematical and logical literature, to invent something in my research area so people can use it in the future.

Another thing is I like writing since I was a child. I like to note down how I feel, what I think although most of the times people don’t really getting my message. Still, I do what I like to do. Writing is a core part in a PhD process. It is about capturing my thought process, I guess. After I read, I write down a small bit of my reflection towards the literature I have reviewed. Although English is not my first language, still I think I can develop the English writing skills from time to time.

In addition, these five months is another reflection on me, what is my core strength, what I need to improve, what I can do the most by using my strength. I am lost in the past, especially after a big slump in my mid twenties. Things weren’t good since then. It was indeed the toughest challenge so far. However, I wouldn’t grieve too much about it. Taking it positively, I have learned a great lesson that formulates a better me. It indeed takes me to my current position.

I am very glad that being given the PhD opportunity from my Prof. I know there are still much more to learn from him and the team. I’ll always remember what he says to me ‘My philosophy is I will push you as much as I could. You are like a string, Ill keep stretching you as I know you haven’t snapped yet’. On the other hand, I know I wouldn’t let myself snap easily as I love what I do (Jobs, 2011).

I feel thankful to have a lovely mommy, also my best friend. She is my number one fan in being interested all the time about my research. Sometimes I like to share her about my thought, although I know she wouldn't be able to understand them all, still she is listening attentively. Thanks mom! I heart you :)

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Airports

Since 2008, airport has been a place that I love and hate the move. I love it as it is a gate taking me to the destination I dream for. In contrast, I hate it as it gives me the sad feeling when I have to depart with the love ones, parents, ex-es etc..horrible feeling..

The return journey from home to UK after Cny celebration is pretty extensive. The journey involves three airports and the travelling time is up to thirty hours due to twelve hours transit in Muscat International airport. In the first leg flight from Penang to KL, it was hard to hold my tears in front of my parents. I think mom did pretty well, she only started crying when sending me to the security gate. At least I still managed to keep the smile on my face, not until when I turned around, the tears were pouring down. The security officer didn’t asked me a single thing and just let me through.

I thought I would be okie once I am boarding, but actually not. I wept quietly in the plane to KL, and also the plane to Muscat. I think I miss everything back home, the feeling of belonging and being loved. Two weeks isn’t long enough. I appreciate my parent’s effort in trying to get things done for me as much as possible. We have had loads of fun though. And now, I have to get back to a place where it is good for my future life, but being on my own most of the time. I have only myself to rely on.

Written at Muscat International airport: 5-Feb-12, 0735 GMT + 4


Sunday, 1 January 2012

Happy 2012


Happy 2012. I just watched the 10 minutes firework display on BBC One. It was awesome. This is my third year in the UK, third time watching / having new year count down at home.

I have been thinking a lot during the one week Christmas and New Year holiday. This is indeed a quiet holiday for me. Just me..

2011 wasn’t a bad year for me.. I have trained myself to be a better in making decision and handling uncertainties… There were achievements and lesson learned, putting it in a positive way… :)

I consider myself lucky to get a job after finishing my MSc study. I am happy that my parents flew over to see me in UK and taking them to holiday. It was fun!! Again, there is a big change in my life when I was granted a full funded PhD in University of Reading. I quitted my job to pursue the PhD study.

In last summer, I was back to single life again. However, I think it is the best decision for both of us. I have missed a few good people in my life. All and all, it is down to ‘fate’ and I am 100% believing in fate. When it is my time, I will be arranged to meet someone. At the moment, the phrase to describe is ‘out of sight, out of mind’

Most people keen to know my ‘plan’. Honestly, I have no plans. But I have dreams. I don’t think I am capable enough to ensure things go exactly as planned, however I can definitely have dreams and knowing how to scale and achieve them.

Cheers Chekantastic! You have survived another year! May 2012 will bring you all happinness

‘活得精彩’

PS: I just realised the only one wish I made when I was in the London Eye has came true :)